A Christmas Eve Story

 You would think that all of us kids would be on our best behavior on Christmas Eve, but that wasn't the case at our house. Even the threat of Santa and coal didn't stop us from misbehaving.

Every year my mom would host the big Christmas Eve dinner. There was always a lot of people, both regulars  and a couple of "extra" adults that showed up only for the holidays. Sometimes we knew the extra adults, like my moms uncle who showed up with silver dollars for all of us kids. Other times the extra adult was someone we barely knew, like my parish priest. Mom always wanted us to behave around company, but especially around the extra adults, because this was the only time they would see us all year, and mom didn't want them to get the impression that she was raising a clan of hyenas.

One year, the best year ever, my brother had the brilliant idea to booby trap the medicine cabinet to keep people from peeking at our tooth brushes and razors. He had filled a little milk carton with marbles and covered it with cardboard before placing it sideways in the cabinet. When the cabinet door was shut, he pulled out the cardboard. Get the picture? When somebody opened the cabinet, all the marbles would fall out. All there was left to do was hang out near the bathroom and wait.

It didn't take very long. One of the extra adults, my aunts mother in law, opened the cabinet looking for Qtips or something. Marbles fell, the mother in law screamed, the cabinet fell off its nail, aspirins and cold tablets bounced all over the sink, and we kids died laughing. My mom, being completely embarrassed, struggled to find the words to explain any of it to the shocked mother in law. There were none.

That year, everyone thought that we were hyenas. Even the priest.

How My Mom Started the Korean War

The Korean War began in June of 1950, and didn't stop until July, 1953. During that time, more than 5 million soldiers and civilians were killed in the fight between democracy and communism, good and evil. My mom thought that she started it.

I remember mom telling me about her Uncle Wally and his war buddies getting together to talk about how much fun they had during WWII, but here, let mom tell her story:

"You are almost correct but they didn't talk about having fun.  They were just glad to be on leave and they would bring me great presents (remember it was all about me just like now)."

World War II ended in Sept.,1945. My mom was just four years old.

"Once the war was over it dawned on me that there would be no more presents.  This really upset me to the point of praying for another war every night.  Once the Korean War broke out I was so happy but didn't get any more gifts. The moral of the story is to keep giving me gifts and there will be peace."

So there you go. To avoid war, give your mom presents. Happy Mothers Day, Mom.