Our First Job

Uncle John was one of those kids who asked forgiveness rather than asking permission. He did whatever he wanted, and was always having adventures. Sometimes his adventures got him in trouble, but he could usually charm his way out of anything. Like the time he was sent to the principal's office in grammar school for misbehaving. As he sat there, John made the principal a valentines day card. Of course,  his sentence was lifted and he got to go back to class. That's how my brother rolled.

So it was no surprise the day John came home with a paper route a week after Grandma told me that I couldn't have one of my own. ( it would be some time until I developed my own John Tolley Luck, but when I did, I would convince Grandma to let me keep the mice I had been raising in the closet.)

Grandma made us share the paper route, and that was a good thing. We learned a little about life. And about adventure.

We certainly learned about responsibility. Everyday we would deliver the newspapers, which is no small thing for a 6th and 7th grade brother and sister. Sometimes Grandpa would drive us if the weather was bad, but most of the time we walked the roughly one mile route ourselves. We had a good time-sometimes friends would walk with us on our route, sometimes we would stop at Little Eddy's hotdog stand for breaded mushrooms or some other delicacy we never got at home.

We also learned about finance. Having money led to having adventures. At the end of each week, we always had enough money left over to pay for our weekly roller skating trip to Disco Wheels, where I got to show off my white skates with blue fuzzy balls on them. I loved those skates as much as I loved skating to the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever. Thats where I dreamt about that special someone I would someday skate with to the couples only songs. 

Uncle John was also fond of buying exploding cigarettes and fart cushions from Izzy Rizzy's trick shop. John had quite the collection of fun, which was put to good use whenever possible. I learned to appreciate the joy buzzer and the fine art of the well-placed fake vomit.

Both of us enjoyed being able to order 45 singles from Andy's Music. Though it was a music store, everything even remotely popular had to be ordered. The only thing Andy ever had in stock was old, faded birthday cards written in Polish. And sheet music for patriotic songs from the old country. If you wanted to play a German drinking song or the Polish national anthem on accordion, then you went to Andy's. Years later, Andy would take a dislike to Uncle Jim and chase him away from the bus stop in the morning.

One time we decided to treat ourselves to a meal at Carr's Diner. We really were no problem, but for some reason the waitress was not happy to have kids as her customers. And we were no help in that every time she got smart with us, we squeezed the plastic honey bear on the table and said, "temperature rising!" as the honey rose up in the bear. But we still tipped her, if for nothing more than teaching us that some people were jerks.

The paper route taught us things about the workforce and about ourselves. We learned many skills that we could use in future jobs, and we learned that whoopie cushions make us smile. Most importantly, we learned that work isn't really work if you make an adventure out of it. Stop for a hotdog every now and then. It keeps your temperature from rising.